Hope you are doing well! Welcome to our fifth activity. Please, post your comments before September 30th, 10 a.m.!
1. Think about someone you admire the most.
2. Make a brainstorming to get some ideas for writing.
3. Write 4 paragraphs considering the suggested format (introduction, main idea, supporting ideas and conclusion). It must have 160 words at least.
4. Language use / writing aspects:
- Simple sentence structures in the tenses you decide.
- Useful vocabulary you need to express your ideas.
- Grammar, spelling, punctuation rules, etc.
All your writings will be welcome as comments... Thanks for participating!
- Grammar, spelling, punctuation rules, etc.
All your writings will be welcome as comments... Thanks for participating!
Someone I admire is my father. He is tall and thin. He has 66th years old, black hair, small eyes and a big smile. He is very friendly, kind, confident, and loving. He is a pastor in a Christian church about 40 years ago.
ReplyDeleteHe is an awesome father, he is so helpful, patient, calm, but especially tolerant. I really admire him because for me is very difficult be patient and tolerant. But my father with his way of acting, teach me and gives me example to be better every day.
Sometimes bothers me, that even though offend, he did not say anything. But later, I understand that the saying is very true “best word is the one that is not said”. I have learned that even though the people hurt or offend you, you have to stay calm and convince that God always is in control of everything. It is so hard but life teaches us in every single situation. In many times, I have seen the way that my father face bad moments, and I can also see how he handles every moment or circumstance.
My father is absolutely THE BEST! He is my confident, my example to follow, my inspiration, but especially the best gift God has given me…
Hello Dani :3
DeleteHere, there are the mistakes I found:
Line 2: You wrote: He has 66th years old / the correct grammar is: He is 66 years old...
Line 5: for me is very difficult be... / the correct gramar is : for me is very difficult to be...
Line 5: But my father with his way of acting, teach me... / the correct way is: But my father with his way of acting, teaches me...
Line 7: Sometimes bothers me,... 7 the correct way is : Sometimes he bothers me...
Line 7: that even though offend, he did not say anything.../ I think you meant : and even though I offend him, he does not say anything.
Line 9 : you wrote . God always is in control ... / The correct grammar is: God is always or God keeps under control...
Line 10: the way that my father face baad.../ The correct grammar is: the way my father faces bad ...
She…
ReplyDeleteSomeone I admire is obviously my mom. She is 51 years old and she lives in Garagoa. She is tall and thin. Besides, she has black hair and brown eyes. She knows how to deal with all sorts of people because she is an excellent secretary. Really, she is a great woman and she is very important to me.
My mom has many virtues that I admire a lot. First, my mom is very devoted to her family. She has always wanted my brother and me to be happy. Although, she has had to face many challenges in her life, she has never given up. Really, I admire her because she is the most persistent person that I know. Likewise, she has always made sure that I have a good life. For example, she has always been present when I have needed help and she has taught me to appreciate all the things that I have in my life.
On the other hand, she works hard everyday in order to fulfill my needs. However, she always has time to share with me.When I was a child, she always made sure that my brother and I had something to eat. She is always prepared to help people when they find in times of trouble. She never says ‘I can not do it’. She never is lazy and she always has the right words in order to make a bad moment into the best teaching.
My mom knows how to make me happy without luxuries. She always tells me ‘Above all, heath and love because the other things go and come’. I really love her and admire her so much.
Hello Karina !!
DeleteSome mistakes that i have fonund are :
3th line : You wrote : " Really," the correct word is /Currently./
4th line : you wrote "my mom is very devoted to her family." you should use /my mom is very careful to our family./
5th line you wrote : " She has always wanted my brother and me to be happy. " the correct is /she has always wanted make my brother and me happy./
6th line : you wrote : "person that I know. " the correct is : /person that i have ever known /
10th line : you wrote : "share " the correct is: /spend/
14th line : you wrote "I really love her and admire her so much." the correct is /I really love her and I admire her so much./
I am going to talk about somebody that I admire. He was born in 1940. He was a world famous painter and graphic artist. He lived in Switzerland until 2014. He was a master in his time for all students who discovered an inspiration in his style. The kind of mind that he had was a strange mix of apocalyptic and sexual things. The context in which he grew was the post-war. All those things allowed him a different focus of life. For that reason H.R GIGER is my inspiration.
ReplyDeleteHans Ruedi Giger. early begun to work as interior designer with his wife .but in a tragedy he lost his wife. This event did not cause a loss in its goal . Conversely it means the positive change in his art. Because he begun to study about the perspective of death. Soon, he worked on the cinematographic industry with films as Alien, Species etc. meanwhile he did many things in the paint with his biomechanical style.
when he live he never stopped to create new projects. The most important aspect that I consider in his life was overcome difficulties on the life. Someday I will be a brilliant artist as he was. Finally I know it is not easy but all great artists started once with a small brushstroke.
Hi David. Here you have some of your mistakes
DeleteFirst line: you wrote “I am going to talk” and the correct one is: “I am going to write” because you did not talk. You wrote
Fifth line: punctuation mistake. You wrote “For that reason H.R GiGER…..” the correct one is: “for that reason, H.R….”
Sixth line: you wrote: “Early begun….” And the correct one is: “early began” the second mistake in this line is the capital letter: “.but” and the correct one is “.But”
Seventh line: you wrote again begun and the correct one is began
Tenth line: you wrote: “when he live” and the correct one is: “when he lived” this is a grammar mistake
Someone I admire is my classmate Ross. She is 5 years older than me. She lives in Tunja. She is very friendly, responsible and intelligent. Her hair is long and straight, her eyes are dark brown. She is medium height and thin. Her favorite color is black. Ross always wears black. . She is an interesting person.
ReplyDeleteShe is busy, I cannot understand how she has time to do so many things because she studies and works every single days. She has a heavy routine. She usually wakes up so early and goes at the university, she has classes all day. When ends our day, her day continuous. When she goes out of university she goes to work in a bar. Besides, she likes to read so much.
Her passion is read and writes. Even she is busy, she has time to do what she likes; each day, she is writing something new. She had published a book. She is a really good writer. Her poems are so pretty. Her thinking is unique when she writes.
Ross does not have a lot of free time and she is always doing different things. Something I admire about her is that she has ended a career. She studied business administration although she did not like it. Now, she is studying her second undergraduate program and she is the best in that. Someday I want to know a little of what she knows. She is more wise than clever.
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DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHey Johana!
DeleteThe mistakes I found are:
2nd line : You wrote: responsible; SPELLING: RESPONSIBLE
2nd line : You wrote: Her hair is long and straight, her eyes are dark brown. PUNCTUATION: Her hair is long and straight. Her eyes are dark brown.
5th line: You wrote: how she has time to do so many things; GRAMMAR: how she has time to do so many things ALL TOGHETER.
6th line: You wrote: every single days; SPELLING: EVERY SINGLE DAY
6th line: You wrote: She has a heavy routine; you also can say: She has a very hard routine
9th line: You wrote: Her passion is read and writes. GRAMMAR: Her passion is reading and writing
10th line: You wrote: She had published a book. GRAMMAR: She has published a book.
15th line: You wrote: She is more wise than clever. GRAMMAR: she is wiser than clever.
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ReplyDeleteSomeone I admire is "my sister from another mother". Her name is Jennifer Mejía Vivas, she is only a year older than me, so she is 22. She is from Miami, EE.UU but she lived in Duitama with her aunt 'Mona' for 6 years since she was 11 until we finished high school. I met her when I arrived to La Presentacion School Duitama in 2005 to 7th grade. She is really pretty, she is so tall and thin that her looks could even make you believe that she is a model; in fact, she was. She also has a long dark beautiful hair, big black eyes and most importantly a beautiful voice.
DeleteShe loves to sing but she used to be shy. A few years ago she started to sing in a pop-punk music band with a friend of us and his cousins, since that moment she began to practicing and became in a great singer, they have participated in many band contest. Currently they have another girl in the voice because she came back to live in Miami, but she is still singing there at her and taking particular vocal technique lessons.
She has been doing a Pre-Medicine because she wants to become a doctor. I think that’s a really hard profession and she has not much time these days. But she comes to Colombia at least twice a year, and of course she always visits me .The last time, us and more friends were in a park and she asked me to sing with her. I don’t believe I sing pretty well but she does, so I do my best.
I admire her for all these things and because she is also a great person, she is brave and always smiling even the worst times. That’s why I believe she deserves only the best things for her life and I think she will succeed.
MY NEW DAWN
ReplyDeleteMy little sister Solanyi
Someone I admire is my sister Solanyi. She`s three years younger than me, so she`s 21 now and she lives in Bogotá because she is a teacher. She is very intelligent and beautiful. She is an interesting woman. She`s medium height. She has long black hair, brown eyes and little red lips. She is my own Snow White.
She has been reading, since she known books. She works every day in a private school. She wants to be an excellent professional and a great woman, but it`s a very difficult profession because children don’t want to learn, they don`t want to read and they don`t want to think.
She is an important person in my life and I’ve been to need her several times.♪Solanyi is very busy, because she also likes photography, music, art, history, literature, and she writes poetry. She`s a really intelligent woman. She has helped me to return in the real life, she learns to me to fighting in every moment of life, also she`s a good writer and has published some of her poems, and in the last year some of her poems were published in a III edition of a book titled “a tientas del olvido”.
Solanyi doesn`t have a lot of free time, and she also trying to spend time to see cine art, to read a lot, to write, to learn something and to be a great woman…because she is very naughty. I think Solanyi is very hard-working, very intelligent and she`s my invincible force. She deserves to become a great professional one day.
Hello Ross:
DeleteHere are the mistakes that i found in your text:
1st line: so she´s 21 now, the correct form is: so, she’s 21 years old now.
9th line: she learns to me fighting in every moment of life, the best way would be: she learns to fight in every moment of life
11th line: were published in a III edition, it would be better to write: were published in a third edition
13th line: to be a great woman… because, she is very naughty; the correct form is: to be a great woman because, she is very naughty
13th line: I think Solanyi is; here is better: I think that Solanyi is
Congratulation Ross, you are few mistakes
Good job!!
Someone I admire is my great father.His name is Jairo. He is forty-seven years old.He is from Tipacoque but he lives in soata.He is very serious and charismatic.Besides, he is tall and thin. He has white hair and brown eyes. He is very strong because he has been mechanic for seventeen years.
ReplyDeleteI admire my father because he has been a fighting man,when he was five years his mother died and after a short while his father left the house. Since that moment my father had to subsist by himself.
My father started working very young, for this he knows how hard it is to face life and get what you want with effort. I feel very fortunate to have this wonderful father; he is an exemplary father, grateful for life. He is not very affectionate but I love him as he is.
A despite the sad situation that he had to live always has a smile on his face showing that he has been a enterprising man and that fights for his dreams. His greatest happiness is that his family is well and they are always happy. I have thousands of reasons to admire and be proud of my dad. I love him too. He is the father that anyone would want.
The mistakes I have found are:
Delete2ndLine: You wrote “but he lives in soata” and the correct grammar is“ but he lives in Soatá”.
6th Line: You wrote “he knows how hard it is to face life and get what you want with effort.” and the correct grammar is “what each one / everyone wants with effort”
7th Line: You wrote “I feel very fortunate to have this wonderful father;” and the correct grammar is “I feel very fortunate to have my wonderful father.”
7th Line: You wrote “he is an exemplary father, grateful for life.” and the correct grammar is “he is an exemplary father, and he is grateful for life.”
9th Line: You wrote “A despite the sad situation that he had to live always has a smile on his face showing” and the correct grammar is “A despite the sad situation that he had to live, he always has a smile on his face showing “ 9th line: You wrote: “… that he has been a enterprising man and that fights for his dreams. ” and the correct grammar is: “… that he has been a enterprising man and that he fights for his dreams.” 12th line: You wrote: “I have thousands of reasons to admire and be proud of my dad. I love him too. ” and the correct grammar is: “I have thousands of reasons to admire and I am proud of my dad. I love him too.“
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DeleteHey everyone!
ReplyDeleteI am going to talk about someone I admire, obviously is my beautiful dad. Her name is Jorge Urrego. He is 42 years old. He was born in Cundinamarca but he lives in Duitama. He is Christian. He is tall and fat. He has black hair with some grey hairs and green-brown eyes. Really, he is an excellent father.
My daddy is my best friend. He is respectful, intelligent, pretty, solidary, honest, generous, carefully, sweet, friendly, funny and specially; he is very loving with my mommy, sibling and me. He is a mechanic. Although, his work is hard and it takes to him long time, he is always with me and my family.
On other hand, my daddy teaches me many values, how can I to face the problems and also, I have to love all I have. He gives me all that I need. However, he says me “Yaira, always you have to give thanks to lord for all and also, to take advantage of every opportunity that comes you way”. His hobby is play guitar and share with me, my mommy and my sibling. He always makes us happy.
I admire him, because when I am sad and frustrated, he does everything possible to make me laugh or smile. When I am with him my day is best. On other words, he is a great man and father. Also, he is very important for me. He is my Hero and my first love!
Hi Yaira,
DeleteThe mistakes I have found are:
1st line: you wrote “ obviously is my beautiful dad.Her name is Jorge Urrego”, and the correct grammar is “obviously is my beautiful dad. His name is Jorge Urrego”
6th: you wrote “He is respectful, intelligent, pretty, solidary, honest, generous, carefully, sweet, friendly, funny”, and the correct grammar is He is respectful, intelligent, pretty, solidary, honest, generous, careful, sweet, friendly, funny”.
7th: you wrote “Although, his work is hard and it takes to him long time”, and the correct expression is “although his job is hard,and takes him long time or many time”.
10th: you wrote “, I have to love all I have”, and the correct expression is “ I have to love everything that I have”
10th: you wrote “. He gives me all that I need”, and the correct expression is “ he gives me everything that I need”
12th: You wrote “His hobby is play guitar and share with me”, and the correct grammar are “His hobbies are playing guitar and sharing with me”
I am going to tell you about someone i admire: my older sister. Her name is Andrea Díaz. She is 27 years old. She is medium weight and she is the tallest in my family, also she is the most serious in it. She was born in Duitama, her birthday is on December 11th. She is very friendly, sweet and petty. She loves the green clothes, and the slow choose, her favorite style of music is Rock. She has been started to listening English music. She has a long hair, beautiful black eyes and also a wonderful smile. Her favorite food is lasagna; she likes drinks vodka and whisky
ReplyDeleteShe studied at SENA a course of chemistry, but after that she started to study in UDCA pharmacy chemistry, she is still studding it, but she wants teaching some day in another country. She had leave the house when she was very youngest. She has been lived in Bogota since 2007, she bought a car for traveling, she went to Panama last year for presenting an oral presentation. She won a scholarship, because she is really good in her study. She dedicated a lot of time in her work. She had published an article about ''Makeup's composition''. She will be to learn Portuguese for visiting the central company in Brazil.
She had a baby when she was 17 years old and his name is Cristian Lopez, now he is a strongly boy, he loves his parents and he wants to be a doctor. She has a lot of work from 8 am to 5 pm, after that she is going to study. Every single morning she is inventing a new way to enjoy the short time with her son. She does not have much money for paying a babysitter so my father helps her with the kid. She goes in to tango's classes at the night on weekend she loves spend time with us.
Finally i am proud of her labor with our family because she has been helping us, for growing the happiness in our family.
Hi Vanne
DeleteThere are some mistakes that i found
1st line you wrote someone I admire: my older sister and you can replace by someone I admire: my oldest sister
6th line you wrote: she likes drinks, and you can replace by she likes to drink
8th line you wrote: wants teaching some day, and you can replace by to be a teacher one day or someday
9th line you wrote: she had leave the house when she was very youngest, and you can write she left the house when she was very younger
10th line you wrote she went to Panama last year for presenting an oral presentation and you can replace by she went to Panama last year to make a speech
16th line, you wrote: every single morning, and you should write every morning
18TH line, you wrote: at the night on weekend she loves, and you need to put a comma: at night, on weekend she loves spend time with us
Someone I admire is my mother Benilda. She`s twenty five years older than me. She lives in Còmbita with my sister. She`s medium height. She has short black hair and brown eyes. She is a very important person to me, because she gave me life and she supports me when I need her. In addition, my mother is responsible and understanding.
ReplyDeleteShe has been privileged with many virtues, values and skills which she has taught to me. She is my life. When I have problems, her words soothe and heal me; her caresses and kisses comfort. She is my confidant. Also, my mother always looks for the best good for us (my sister and me).
My mother sacrificed all in order to give her help. She acknowledges that victories are mine and gives me the credit. My mother is there to unconditionally help and motivate me to accomplish our goals.
She is always with me and supports me in everything. She is always beside me. Although, my mother has many difficulties, we are still together. In summary, I admire the lifestyle of my mother, and thanks to her guidance, I have become a good person. Nonetheless, she supports us in our decisions.
Hi! Yina
DeleteThey are your mistakes
5th--> she has taught to me --> She has taught me
6th--> ... kisses comfort ---> ...kisses comfort me
8th --> my mother sacrificed all ---> my mother sacrifies everything
8th --> to give her help --> to give us her support
8th --> she acknowledges that victories are mine --> She acknowledges my victories
9th --> my mother is there to unconditionally --> my mother is there for m unconditionally
12th --> I have become --> I have to become
The only one that I will always admire
ReplyDeleteI am going to write about my mom. She is forty- seven years old and she is from Toca. I admire her because a lot of years ago she arrived to Tunja. She stared with nothing in her hands. She was decided to leave that little town and come to the city. She was looking for new things in her life. She was very smart and still she is but she did not study in a university. She worked a lot to get her own things.
The principal qualities that I admire of her are that she always has been very independent and puts the family’s needs before hers. She works in the toll gate rode to Duitama. It is a very hard job because she has to travel very early everyday and rarely she has a break. All that things she does them for her family.
I must admit that she is not the best cooker or a perfect human being but I think that she is perfect to me because she is my mom.
The mistakes that I have found are:
DeleteLine 2: You wrote “…because a lot of years ago she arrived to Tunja” and correct grammar is “because she arrived in Tunja a lot of years ago”. Also, you wrote “She stared with nothing in her hands” and the correct spelling and grammar is “She started without nothing on her hands”.
Line 3: You wrote “…to leave that little town and come” but this would be better if you write “to leave that little town in order to go”.
Line 4: You wrote “…and still she is” and the correct grammar is “and she is still very smart”
Line 5: You wrote “…but she did not study in a university” and the correct grammar is “although she did not study at the university”.
Line 6: You wrote “…I admire of her are that” but this would be better if you write “I admire of her are the followings”. Also, you wrote “…she always has been” and the correct grammar is “she has always been”.
Line 9: You wrote “…rarely she has a break” but this would be better if you write “rarely, she has a break or she rarely has a break”.
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ReplyDeleteThe person that I admire most is my mom, she is a wonderful wife and mother, who always has been worried about the house activities and in addition to everything that her family needs; every day she goes to the farm, then she milks the cows and put them out to pasture; after this, she prepares lunch; despite of all that she has to do, she never feels tired, ¡¡or well that's what always she has demonstrated!!; Moreover although, she got married when she was seventeen years old, she has managed to be a good mom example to follow.
ReplyDeleteI really admire her, because she has always been a hard worker and although she has had to make great efforts, she has always managed to get everything that she has proposed and wanted, besides, she has always had her own income, so she rarely has had to depend of my fathers help to generate her own resources and thus make up for most of their needs.
In addition, she has been my best friend and my confidant I have always been able to remember that sometimes she prefers to refuse many things to give us what we want, that is to say, she has sacrificed in order to her family is happy, well I have special thanks to her because she has always been with me in the most difficult times and despite my mistakes she has always supported me, without give so much importance to these, moreover I can also say that she has been like a father to my daughter.
Throughout her life, she has had real fighting spirit; however, she was born in a poor family, but with hard work and thanks to the values received to managed to overcome , on that account it, she is a very persistent person and happy of her own life.
(......)
DeleteHi Dear Yamile!
DeleteThe mistakes that I have found are:
1st line: who always has been worried- She always has been worried.
5th line: Moreover although, she got married- Moreover or although ?
5th line: she has managed to be a good mom example to follow - she has achieved to be a good mom example to follow
8th line: she has always managed - she has accomplished everything always.
8th line: proposed and wanted - proposed and she wanted.
11th line: my confidant - my confident
13th line: thanks to her because she has always - thanks to her, because she has always
14th line: despite my mistakes she has always supported me - despite my mistakes . she has always supported me.
I admire a lot of people but the person I admire the most is my mother. She is 46 years. She married very young and had 4 children, my father died when we were very young and since then she has worked hard for us, It is thanks to her that I am who I am today. She cares about everyone in the family. I admire her because she is very intelligent, creative, cheerful, honest, ingenious and a strong woman. She is very important to me because she always encourages me and makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteShe have many good things that I have to learn from her. She is a example to me. She has done the best job through life and experience to build up a strong family.
Although she never got to finish high school, she works hard every day and she likes to learn something new.
She never gives up while she is learning something.
I admire her for these and many other reasons....
1st line: you wrote;I admire a lot of people but the person i admire the most; but this would be better: I have admired a lot of people, but the person that i admire most.
Delete1st line: you wrote; she married very Young and had 4 children; but this would be better: she got be married very Young and she had 4 children.
2nd line : you wrote; children, my father died; but this would be better: children. My father died.
3rd line: you wrote; it is thanks to her that i am who i am today; but this would be better: then, it is thanks to her that i have been able to be who now i am.
5th line: you wrote; she is very important to me becouse; but this would be better: she is very important to me, becouse.
5th line: you wrote; and makes me happy; but this would be better: and makes me feel happy.
6th line: you wrote; She has many good things that i have learn from her; but this would be better: she has many good things and i have learned these from her.
7th line ; you wrote; the best job throught life; but this would be better: the best job throughtout her life and experience.
7th line: you wrote; she never gives up; but this would be better: she has never gotten giving up.
There was a person that I admired a lot and I am still admiring, she is my mom. Although, she died four years ago, she taught me great things about life such as: to respect others, to fight for my goals and achieve them without letting me fall to the obstacles, she taught me to cook and be a good housewife.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, she taught me the big picture of being a good mom and this I have been able to apply with my son right now. For me, my mom Isabel was a great example of person, because she was honest, never fought with anyone, she was very funny and friendly, she always gave me confidence to tell all my stuff.
I miss her so much, but now I can say I have a little angel in heaven who is caring and protecting me I thank her I learned great things that have helped me in life.
I admire her because she taught us to love as true brothers and remain always united and we are far from each other and thanks to her I have the family that I want. For me, my mom is the person that I admire always.
Mommy I will always remember you and I'll take you in my heart, I love you mommy.
Hey Monica :D
Delete1st line: “I am still admiring”. The correct form is I still am admiring.
1st line: “I am still admiring, she is my mom”. You need to chance the comma for a period.
2nd line: You need to chance the comma for a period between 4 years ago and she taught me.
3rd line: You need a comma before AND. Also, you need the position To before achieve.
3rd line: “to the obstacles”. The correct form is: on the obstacles.
3rd line: You need a period between “to the obstacles” and “she taught me”
7th line: “never fought with anyone”. The correct form is: She never fought with anyone.
7th line: You need a period between friendly and she always.
9th line: “I can say I have a little angel in heaven”. The correct form is: I can say: “I have an angel in the heaven”.
10th line: “I thank her”. The correct form is: I thank to her.
10th line: You need a period between “I thank her” and “I learned”
10th line: “that have helped me in life”. The correct form could be: that can help me in my life.
11th line: “and remain always”. The correct form: And always remain.
Last line: “I will always remember you”. The correct form is: I always will remember you.
Good morning!!
ReplyDeleteSomeone I admire is Jennifer Lopez, she is better known as J.Lo, she is a pop singer moreover; she is actress, composer, dancer and producer too. She was born in EE.UU but, her parents are from Puerto Rico, she is forty five years old and she has beautiful twins with the singer Mark Antony. She is young and attractive despite her age because, she is a person very athletic. She is tall with a enviable figure besides, she is brunette and her hair is chestnut and she has a big and brown eyes.
She is a person who helps the poor people, she has some foundations for helping to the needy on the other hand, she is very criticize by the means of communication because she has been many scandals with her partners and colleagues but, she is not a bad woman.
This artist is really good in her profession because, she sings really sensational, her songs are cheerful and her voice is very cute for this reason, she has won many important awards in all her career no only as an singer because, she won awards as an actress, composer and producer, She has many facets in her life.
Jenifer is a woman who has fought since child to reach her dreams and now, she is at the top of the pop music, It show that with constant work everything is possible. For me she is the best sing of today finally, she is my favorite singer and her songs are my favorite too.
The mistakes that I have found are:
DeleteLine 5: You wrote “she has a big and brown eyes”
and correct grammar is :she has big brown eyes
line 7:You wrote “she is very criticize by the means of communication”
and correct grammar is :she is very criticized by means of communication
Line 9: You wrote “This artist is really good in her profession because,”
and correct grammar is :This artist is really good in her profession. Because
line 10 : You wrote “she has won many important awards in all her career no only as an singer because,”
and correct grammar is : she has won many important awards in all her career no only as an singer. Also
line 12: You wrote: “Jenifer is a woman who has fought since child to reach her dreams and now”
and correct grammar is : Jenifer is a woman who has fought since she was a child to reach her dreams and now
line 13: You wrote “It show that with constant work everything is possible”
and correct grammar is : this proves that with constant work everything is possible
line 13: You wrote “For me she is the best sing of today finally,”
and correct grammar is : For me she is the best. finally
hi!
ReplyDeleteThe person who I admire is my mom Marleny, she is 37 years old, she is from Duitama and when I travel on weekend to Duitama I live with her, she has the most beautiful dark brown eyes that I can saw, also she has black long hair and usually has a big smile in her face.
I admire my mom because since too much time ago she helped to my, to my brother and my sister in the school and now in the university, every days she wakes up so early, sometimes at 4:30 because she need to make the breakfast and at the same time make the lunch, then she wakes up to my sister and ready her for the school, at 7 am my mom goes to her work, she works in a restaurant, then at 5 pm she arrives to the house and in it she do the homework and help to my sister in her, at the same time she had to work in a little stationery that she had in our house, she have to do it all days, also some Sundays.
Another thing why I admire my mom is because when she had time, we go out and eat ice cream, and she prefers to spend her money in us and not in she, yet if she needs money, and also because I don’t know how she has power to continue her life do the same all days just for us.
When I am with her she ever give me strength to live the life, also she ever is worry for us, and she gave me all that I need in my university and in my live, I love my mom, and I admire so much for all after reasons.
Hi Johnatan!!
DeleteThe mistakes I have found from your writing are:
2nd line, you wrote: "the most beautiful dark brown eyes that I can saw"
-The correct grammar is:" the most beautiful dark brown eyes that I have ever seen"
4th line, you wrote: "because since too much time ago she helped to my"
-The correct grammar is: “because since long time ago she has helped me”
5th line, you wrote: “ university, every days she wakes up so early, sometimes at 4:30 because she need…”
-The correct gramar and punctuation are: “ university. Every day, she has to wake up so early, sometimes at 4:30 because she needs...”
6th line, you wrote: “ then she wakes up to my sister and ready her for the school”
-The correct gramar is: “then she helps my sister to get ready for school” (you could skip wakes up to her)
7th and 8th line, you wrote: “then at 5 pm she arrives to the house and in it she do the homework and help to my sister in her”
-The correct gramar is: “At 5 pm she arrives home and then she helps my sister with her homework”
10th line, you wrote: “Another thing why I admire my mom is because when she had time”
-The correct gramar is: “Another reason why I admire my momm is because when she has time”
11th line, you wrote: “prefers to spend her money in us and not in she, yet if she needs money…”
-The correct gramar is: “prefers spending her money with us and not in her, even if she needs the money...”
Someone I admire.
ReplyDeleteThe person on the world who I admire is my mom. Her name is Patricia Becerra. She is 38 years old. She is from Duitama. She is a hairdresser. She is small height and her hair is curly like mine. I think my mom is my best friend.
My mom has been very strong. She became pregnant when she was very young. I think, for that reason, we are so connected. Every day she wakes up earlier than anyone to start the day for my family. She is only thinking about our well-being.
It is very good to have someone who wants to listen to you. My mom is that person. When I feel bad, she is always with me. She is always supporting me and is giving me advice. There is nobody who is able to take care about me like she is. Really, I feel protected when she is with me. I can play jokes on her. I know she is going to take revenge. So, our relationship has a lot of confidence and respect.
I know I am very lucky to have my mom with me. I hope to fill her with joy and happiness. I love her. She is the best person I have known.
1st line:"The person on the world who I admire is my mom". It´s better if you say:The person in the world who I admire is my mom.
Delete2nd lne:" I think my mom is my best friend. It's better if you say: I think that my mom is my best friend."
4th line:"I think, for that reason, ". You can use another verb to say that: I guess, for that reason,
8th line."she is always with me.". You can say too: she is by my side or she stands by me. Nicer!
9th line:"take care about me like she is" It's better if you use: take care about me like she does.
Remerber be nice with RR
9th line:" I feel protected when she" It's better if you say: I feel sure when she...
Someone I admire
ReplyDeleteRobi Draco Rosa. He is a Latin singer who was born in New York 1969; his real name was Robert Edward Rosa, but in the 80’s he changed legally his name to Cornelius Draco Rosa Suarez.
Since he was a boy he became interested in the music, so when he was 14 years old he joined to “Menudo”, a very popular pop band in its epoch. In this group, soon he became rapidly in a young superstar. During his step by “Menudo” he met one of his best friends, the renown and also Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin, whom he will write a lot of famous songs like: ”Living la vida loca”, “Fuego de noche, nieve de dia”, “La copa de la vida”(the world champion’ single in France 98’), etc…
In 1989 later he starred the movie ”Salsa”, he began his career in solitary singing romantic song in Portuguese.
In the 90’s Robi Draco began a new band called The Maggie’s dreams, with which he achieved to record one CD and some concerts in United States. Later he abandoned the band and, he recorded a new CD called Frio. However, he did not get the successful until he recorded his next CD and one the most famous in the Rock in Spanish, Vagabundo-1996.
In the 2004 his song Mas y Mas, it made him to win a Grammy as the best video in that year.
Nowadays, Robi Draco lives in Puerto Rico in company of his family; he sows coffee and distils whiskey.
1st line: “Who was born in New York 1969”. Who was born in New York in 1969.
Delete2nd line: “He changed legally his name”. He changed his name legally.
3rd line: “Since he was a boy he became interested in the music”. Since he was a boy, he became…
4th line: “a very popular pop band in its epoch”. A very popular pop band in that epoch.
4th line: “soon he became rapidly in a young superstar”. Soon he became in a young superstar (without “rapidly”. It sounds redundant)
6th line: “whom he will write a lot of famous songs like”. Whom he wrote… (you have to keep writing in past tense)
8th line: “In 1989 later he starred”. In 1989, he starred.
11th line: “Later he abandoned the band and, he recorded a new CD “. Later he abandoned the band and recorded a new CD…
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWho do you admire?
DeleteA man with a wavy and dark hair, smily as a snake, with cinnamon color skin, chubby as a piñata, and perhaps, as famous as Michel Jackson was a Colombian singer who I admire, and who I would have liked to have the shot to take a photo with.
Do you want to know why? Well... Because since Diomedes Díaz was nine years old, he had the worst job in the world someone could have, and it was to work as a sacrecrow in a farm to feed and survive. But for his distraction at work, he started to sing verses compoused by himself like the next:
Yo llegué de Carrizal
porque me buscó Teodoro
pa' que viniera a espantar
perico, cotorra y loro.
Pericos que no me jodan
que no me jodan, carajo
si se comen las mazorcas
me botaran del trabajo.
When he began singing and compousing these verses, he realized he had talent for both, so he took advantage of this any occasion it was presented him.
Besides of that, he was a genious to scape from the justice. When he was already famous, he was accused to have killed a girl, and Diomedes was wanted for many time. For this and other things this singer did, police was alwasys looking for him. But people form the village and even some pilicemen loved to much him becouse of his charisma and music that they never denounce him.
I admire the power he had to get along with weverybody, speccially women, becouse always he opened his mouth, a kind of sorcery hypnotized people´s sences.
I admire him too, becouse I love literature a lot, and in one way or another he was an expert in this topic; we can verify this with his songs and compositions. I would like he were alive to learn a little bit about his charisma and to be as agile in poetry as he was.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello, Felipe.
ReplyDeleteI found the following mistakes in your text:
1. Line: Before starting to describe the person you can write: the person I admire….
2. Line: you must put the subject and put a dot: …as Michael Jackson. He was a Colombian singer.
3. Line: you can correct this sentence: Who I admire, and who I would have liked to have the shot to take a photo with. And use the following: and I would have liked to take a photo with him and remove who I admire.
7. Line: you must correct this sentence: …he started to sing verses compoused by himself. The correct sentence is: …he started singing verses composed by himself.
8. Line: you must correct the following verb: compousing, the correct form is: COMPOSING.
9. Line: you can remove this sentence: so he took advantage of this any occasion it was presented him. And I think you can write this: he realized, he had a talent for music and he took every opportunity that was presented him to sing.
12. Line: you can write this: For these and other things that made this singer, the police always looked to him.
13. Line: mistake: becouse. The correct form is: because; mistake: pilicemen. The correct form is: policemen.